ON DA ROAD AGAIN
RING RING MO TRUCKER
Monday morning I got the call-up to come on a trip down to Newcastle to film the Roast the Coast jam. Fast forward to Friday and I’m on the road with Kaz Campbell, Benny Bueggs, Tyson Jones Peni, and Mikhayla
We left Brisbane and headed straight down to Burleigh where we met up with everyone, then hit the road down to Coffs Harbour.
Driving down we hit Ballina Skate Park to warm up the legs. Benny was killing it, Tyson hit a sick tabes, Kaz was blasting, then we pushed further down to Wasp’s Trails for a quick power hour before the sun went down.
The sun went down super fast. We hung out a bit with the boys and it turns out I’m the pool champ — destroying anyone that even tried to step up to the table against me. A lot of shit talk, a lot of laughs. Just check out the photos, you’ll get the vibe.
11pm Friday
We got to this sketchy backpackers. It’s hot as fuck. No AC, one swinging pedestal fan, three bunk beds, two snoring backpackers — which I then woke up because I thought we had the entire room to ourselves.
Now I wasn’t having any of it. I’ve watched enough pickpocket videos on YouTube to be on high alert. I’ve got my camera gear, laptop, hard drives, rings — you know, all my big baller shit. So I’m up on the top bunk with an enemy underneath me and an enemy across the room.
I put my camera gear right near my head and basically lay on it, ready to launch off the top bunk like a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle. The guy in front of me is like 70, I think — but I don’t give a fuck. I don’t trust you. If you touch my stuff or even look at me, this motherfucking WWE shit is about to go down.
Now let’s talk about the heat. It was cooking in there. I don’t actually think any of us slept. I was up top sweating, looking at the time thinking, fuck it, as soon as there’s daylight I’m out. I think we got a couple hours of sleep, but I definitely caught up crashing out in the van.
Happy to announce nothing happened. No one took my stuff and no one got hurt.
Saturday morning
As soon as there was even a little bit of sun, we all had the same idea — let’s get the fuck out of here.
We hit Coffs Harbour Skate Park and Benny jumped straight out of the van ripping, then unfortunately twisted his knee a little bit. Not sure if he’s out for the rest of the trip yet, but we’ll see how it goes.
Kaz is blasting — you already fucking know.
Tyson is sending the super mega gap on the buzzer. If you don’t believe me, watch the video when its out.
We pack it up pretty quickly and hit the road to Newcastle. A couple pit stops, a couple coffees, and we’re ready for the final countdown.
Kaz is watching the Game of Bike video. Benny is watching the Game of Bike video. Mik is in the front. Tyson is driving. I pass the fuck out and wake up at a service station.
I grab some water and nuggets — first food of the day, which was not the vibe, but that’s what happened and I learned the hard way. Tyson pulls into another spot for Guzman y Gomez! I’m ready to swing hands. I calm down, but I’m still salty.
I become the bigger man and let it go, but honestly it’s fucked up. My stomach hurts from ten nuggets with sweet and sour sauce, but I will rebuild.
I have no idea where we are. I keep falling asleep. Tyson pipes up: “Do you know how much a Weis Bar costs? $6.40.”
WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN THIS WORLD.
Take me back to the ’90s where everything was $1 — or cheaper. Now we’re deep in a cost of living rant, my favourite. A lollie was 5 cents. You could get a whole bag for 50 cents. I’ve had enough of this shit.
4:44pm Saturday
We’ve arrived in Newcastle. Quick scroll on Instagram — Kaz is horny, liking a few girls’ photos and ready to twist his bike into wild positions at the trails.
Benny’s knee is looking bad. He could be out with the way he’s limping.
We check into the hotel. Kaz and I get put in the naughty room. Falcon is downstairs. I’ve got that silly feeling where one vodka cruiser makes me a little lippy. More on that later.
We head to the trails. All-star lineup. It’s all going down.
I’ve got the camcorder in my hand filming everyone coming down the line — watch the video. It gets dark quick again. Pub feed time. Marker’s Mark and Coke kind of night.
10:43pm — webeclubbing
After about 32 dark drinks and a few Fireball shots, party mode is fully activated. Old-school hits pumping, dancing at some beach hotel thing, shutting it down.
I go on a drunk rant driving past Newcastle spots Boyd’s ridden or has not, who knows what i said. I Won’t shut up in the kebab store. Whiskey, drum and bass, and Nelly vocals just hit me. Might do it again if you’re lucky.
11:22am Sunday — competition day
It’s comp day. Pad the fuck up and send it.
After coffee, eggs, and “do you remember this last night,” we’re off to the park. Full-on match — Poms vs Aus. I think the Poms won. Such a sick jam. Tyson absolutely nailed it and should be proud of what he’s creating.
Some drama popped up — Makayla hates the size of her fork (“it’s just too long”). Benny is stealing boiled eggs. Other than that, unreal day.
Dermo is still pro like it’s the early 2000s. Kaz blasting. Love the Poms — Ike is such a sick lad. So much went down. I’ve got a headache and need sleep.
Shout out to Harry and Markus for copping merch — really appreciate it.
8:58pm Sunday
We’re at the pub and fuck me, the big fork drama really kicks off. Apparently these ones are huge.
I tune out and smash some pasta. Probably need another bowl because I haven’t eaten all day. I refuse the late-night dirty kebab, which might be a mistake.
Now I have to look after Kaz. Last thing I need is him getting deported for being naughty. CCs and colas going down fast. Harry the mad dog has a twitch in his eye — I think it’s another naughty night.
Kaz looks at me and says with his eyes, “Sex, drugs, and rock and roll.”
As his support worker, I’m now involved.
9am Monday
Big-ass drive home. Blessed to be passenger princess the whole trip while Tyson holds it down. Lots of sleeping in the van.
I don’t need to crap on much more. If you’re still reading — thank you.
Huge thank you to Tyson Jones Peni, Kaz Campbell, Benny, and Mikayla for such an epic trip. Love being on the road making movies. Thanks for having me along for this one.
HELL YEAH — BACKBONE BMX 🖤
2 comments
Support worker lol.
Badass weekend